we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
