no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
