I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
