so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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