my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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