if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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