I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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