you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think your dad took our porno
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
