marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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