So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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