She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
