Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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