"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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