i will never coherently bang her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
