My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
