RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
