If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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