if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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