the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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