I just threw up on my dentist
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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