So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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