I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This house was built for laser tag.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
