I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
