Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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