His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
