Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
