I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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