now i know why i became what i already was.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
