i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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