It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
