i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize