it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it because I queefed?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
