well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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