I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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