we made out on top of his cat.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
