It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
