Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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