Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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