Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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