Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
