Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize