Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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