Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
