Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
