so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
