i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
