i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
