Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize