This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
