Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
