kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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