lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
