sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
