white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
