i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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