So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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