i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
