My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
