dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
