i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
