I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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