No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
