No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if only i could text you this smell
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
